REFLECTIONS
Looking back at November 2025 and other rabbit holes of interconnectedness and thoughts on the holiday season
“Trust your inner compass 🧭 it knows the way.” - Author Unknown
NOvember was the theme for me this year.
What does that mean? It means that I made an effort to practice saying, no to things that didn’t feel like a “f*ck yes!”
As someone that has spent a lot of my life saying yes to things in order to make up for past mistakes, or in fear of missing out of opportunities or not wanting to pass up a moment of memory making or because I know that other people needed me to say yes because I put myself in many positions of responsibility and I felt like it was my duty to show up. I ended up saying yes at the expense of my own rest, growth or sustainability. So this November I said yes to things that felt aligned with my capacity and with what felt like a fair energetic exchange and NO, to everything else. Which left me with the opportunity to say yes to the following:
Get to a place where I felt comfortable making Aloo Gobi, I was spending too much money on take out and it was cutting into my fiscal goals. (I must have made this 8x’s this month.)
Made my own butter🧈 from heavy whipping cream because learning one new skill a week is part of my personal growth goals.
Do a whimsical photo shoot in the dessert with my photographer friend Leilani who has a consulting company called Good Humaning on a random road trip from Las Vegas.
Step back behind the lens, because I’ve really been missing doing portrait photography.
Cooking with and for my family during the holiday, even though a lot of conversations centered around divesting from colonial narratives and practices, as we sat in our contradiction of turkey and creamy scallop potatoes straight out of Martha Stewards cookbook.
Team building with the young squad at San Pancho OFL, a Cannabis Equity dispo in the Mission District w/ my business partner Apex
Go to the Nas show where it felt like a hip-hop high school reunion.
Spend more QT with my family dog.
Learn to make Nilaga a Filipino beef soup, a dish my Tita Lita & Lola Luz made during colder months. I always just relied on showing up in their kitchen, taking for granted that it would be on the stove when they called me over. But with their passing several years ago, grief is transmuted into love by learning their skills and flavors the passed on.
My Highest Self called for more practice in setting boundaries to begin repairing a lifetime of adopting narratives that do not feel true to my mixed identity and over giving of myself to appease others, to make things work, to make up for the conflict of my existence, because I didn’t want to be lonely, or miss out or let others down.
All at the expense of my own personal growth. But now in my 40’s, I’m really beginning to understand the importance and the delicate nature of balance. The importance of staying true to my NO.
Balance has never been my strong point the last 20 years has been “go hard or go home,” no days off, work to avoid grief or work double time because if I don’t someone else will take my position. But really woopty-freaking-doo.
None of those paradigms are thriving paradigms those paradigms have left most of my community and family and myself with health care bills and near death experiences that are impeding our mobility and perception of life.
We’re here to break the cycles not repeat them.
A Higher and more evolved US benefits from a Higher well rested and aligned Self. I and We are intertwined.
In my studies with the Center for Babaylan Studies they introduced to me a Tagalog word, Kapwa, that represents the deep intertwined nature of the inner awareness of self and an interconnectedness of understanding and compassion in seeing that complex process of becoming and being in another. The English language barely encompasses its depth. It is the space we take up together its the inner recognition of the power we hold as individuals and the inner knowing that we are connected.
When I was a youth worker/ case manager I used to show the youth I was doing violence prevention work with this TED Talk by Chris Abani “On Humanity” where I learned about the word, Ubuntu, which is kin to Kapwa, but it’s a word that also conveys this deep concept of “I am because we are.” But even deeper it is the condition of being and of becoming in relation to the other, it is survival and resilience, dignity, the spirit of solidarity of shared humanity.
In my early adult hood in San Francisco I met the Mayan phrase, In’lakesh first through Chicano mentors who were connecting with learning indigenous awareness through their studies at SF States Ethnic Studies Department. A poet named Luis Valdez wrote this poem of the phrase:
Tu eres otro yo You are the other me
Si te hago daño a ti If I do harm to you.
Me hago daño a mi mismo I do harm to myself
Si te amo y respeto If I love and respect you
Me amo y resperto yo I love and respect myself.
As we wrap up the rest of this year, I think about how much our humanity is being challenged, the wars waged in the name of US, the violent attacks on our community by ICE, the police and the use of the National Guard. The youth that think that violence is the way with no discernment. The Bay Area is witnessing the aftermath of a drive by shoothing at a child’s birthday party in Stockton this past week and today they was a shooting at a High School in SF. We have people dedicated to dismantling social infrastructures , because small groups of selfish humans are peddling narratives that would have us continuing to other each other and isolate ourselves.
But in truth the individual thrives when the fabric of connection is healthy and accessible and that connection is only successful when the individual is self actualizing and meeting the moments and challenges of becoming ones Highest Self.
As we meet December I challenge you not to consume as much as you create. I challenge you rest, I challenge you to put your money where your values are.
Unpopular opinion Toy Drives are wasteful. I get it gifts 🎁 are fun to open. But most kids will get these toys and will lose interest in them in a few months. If you do participate in toy drives be intentional, bring gifts that build literacy, develop dexterity, toys that encourage play with others or encourage body movement. Some of these community lead holiday gift drives are doing amazing work providing free haircuts and food distribution, grocery and gas cards for parents.
On a lighter note if you do shop for yourself and other this holiday season shop local. Invest in small businesses, attend holiday craft fairs, donate to programs that support youth development and community connection.
Here is my list of places and people but I encourage you to make your own:
Wear Something Rare- Custom cut and sew (all genders)
Isso SF - Upcycled and vintage
Suck Flea - Bi-weekly Craft Market
Kapwa Kultural Center- Craft goods and Boba Gift Cards, I also just dropped off a curate selection of Not Your Lola’s Dusters there
Equity Trade Network- We have a list of craft farmers and BIPOC businesses in c*nn*bis right now were featuring the 12 Jays of X-Mas
Rocky Rivera Shop- Music, Planners, and merch
I’m also booking Consulting Sessions for: Business Strategy, Interactive Brand Strategy, Tarot & Astrology Reading for Professionals - $125h
Email me at ninaparksconsulting@gmail.com to book a session.
This is beautiful Nina. Thank you, as always, for your wisdom 🙏🏿 ❤️